Never Give UP

NEVER GIVE UP!

Know your goals, seek your dreams, then when you discover what it is you truly desire—DO IT! Do it with a sense of pride. Do your best. Then all you have to do is Never Give Up...
"Discover something worth dying for—then fervently live for it."
My mom taught me that you can do anything that you think you can do—just keep going even when it looks like you're going to fail.   Pick yourself up and learn from failures. She always reminded me of the man crossing the desert who died right before reaching the oasis. If he'd crawled only five more feet, he could have had water. A lot of people lose their dream when they are only five feet, a few hours, a week or a year away from what they truly want.

Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid

I was impressed by this list compiled by Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and licensed clinical social worker,  that she shared in LifeHack. I am sharing it on my blog because I found quite a few things that I could work on...

1.    Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves. You don’t see mentally strong people feeling sorry for their circumstances or dwelling on the way they’ve been mistreated. They have learned to take responsibility for their actions and outcomes, and they have an inherent understanding of the fact that frequently life is not fair. They are able to emerge from trying circumstances with self-awareness and gratitude for the lessons learned. When a situation turns out badly, they respond with phrases such as “Oh, well.” Or perhaps simply, “Next!”

2. Give Away Their Power. Mentally strong people avoid giving others the power to make them feel inferior or bad. They understand they are in control of their actions and emotions. They know their strength is in their ability to manage the way they respond.

3.    Shy Away from Change. Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge. Their biggest “fear,” if they have one, is not of the unknown, but of becoming complacent and stagnant. An environment of change and even uncertainty can energize a mentally strong person and bring out their best.

4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control. Mentally strong people don’t complain (much) about bad traffic, lost luggage, or especially about other people, as they recognize that all of these factors are generally beyond their control. In a bad situation, they recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response and attitude, and they use these attributes well.

5. Worry About Pleasing Others. Know any people pleasers?  Or, conversely, people who go out of their way to dis-please others as a way of reinforcing an image of strength? Neither position is a good one. A mentally strong person strives to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but is unafraid to speak up. They are able to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset and will navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace.

6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks. A mentally strong person is willing to take calculated risks. This is a different thing entirely than jumping headlong into foolish risks. But with mental strength, an individual can weigh the risks and benefits thoroughly, and will fully assess the potential downsides and even the worst-case scenarios before they take action.

7. Dwell on the Past. There is strength in acknowledging the past and especially in acknowledging the things learned from past experiences—but a mentally strong person is able to avoid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or in fantasies of the “glory days” gone by. They invest the majority of their energy in creating an optimal present and future.

8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over. We all know the definition of insanity, right? It’s when we take the same actions again and again while hoping for a different and better outcome than we’ve gotten before. A mentally strong person accepts full responsibility for past behavior and is willing to learn from mistakes. Research shows that the ability to be self-reflective in an accurate and productive way is one of the greatest strengths of spectacularly successful executives and entrepreneurs.

9. Resent Other People’s Success. It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people’s success. Mentally strong people have this ability. They don’t become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although they may take close notes on what the individual did well). They are willing to work hard for their own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.

10. Give Up After Failure. Every failure is a chance to improve. Even the greatest entrepreneurs are willing to admit that their early efforts invariably brought many failures. Mentally strong people are willing to fail again and again, if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring them closer to their ultimate goals.

11. Fear Alone Time. Mentally strong people enjoy and even treasure the time they spend alone. They use their downtime to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, they don’t depend on others to shore up their happiness and moods. They can be happy with others, and they can also be happy alone.

12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything. Particularly in the current economy, executives and employees at every level are gaining the realization that the world does not owe them a salary, a benefits package and a comfortable life, regardless of their preparation and schooling. Mentally strong people enter the world prepared to work and succeed on their merits, at every stage of the game.

13. Expect Immediate Results. Whether it’s a workout plan, a nutritional regimen, or starting a business, mentally strong people are “in it for the long haul”. They know better than to expect immediate results. They apply their energy and time in measured doses and they celebrate each milestone and increment of success on the way. They have “staying power.” And they understand that genuine changes take time. Do you have mental strength? Are there elements on this list you need more of? With thanks to Amy Morin, I would like to reinforce my own abilities further in each of these areas today. How about you?

 

I Hope that I can be Taken for Granted -DEPENDABLE

I used to think that being Taken for Granted was a bad thing...that you weren't appreciated or ignored...

However, I have recently come to learn the importance of the great honor it is to be Taken for Granted, that others can trust you and not worry.

If you are Taken for Granted in School it means that your teacher and classmates will not have to worry about your behavior or the fact that you will turn your homework in on time or that you will do well on tests. It means that you always get along with others and are fair with them.

If You are Taken for Granted by the people you Work with or for, that just means that they can depend on you without worry that you will do your job to the best of your ability. It means that you will be on time or early, that you will guard your responsibilities with care and that you will have the back of the company or employees which means that you will speak highly of them to others and be a good representative of the company.  Also, If you are really good at something people can Take you for Granted the fact that you will do an extraordinary job.

If you are Taken for Granted as a Spouse, it means that your spouse can count on you to always love them with all your heart and do and say everything with their best interests at heart. 

It is wonderful if your spouse can Take you for Granted when they get sick that you will take care of them and guard their sleep with silence so they can get well and watch over them to take them to the doctor if necessary. Also when you are sick you could trust that they would do your chores or take care of your responsibilities so that you would not have to worry about them while you heal.

Being Taken for Granted by your spouse means you can respect their wishes to change the little things that they want done. Perhaps it is just who does the dishes, or how clean they want the home or the noise level they prefer…but that you respect and honor their wishes right away without argument just because you honor, respect and love them. It means you are dependable to do your chores around the house that you have both decided upon. Or that you notice the little things that they desire and pick up on their verbal and non-verbal clues to put them first and do all that you can do to assure their happiness.

If you are Taken for Granted as a Spouse, it means that you have their back in public. Your partner does not have to worry whether you will do something to embarrass you or put you on the spot or whether you will say something private about them in front of others or behind their back.

It means that when you communicate or talk about anything that they do not need to worry that you would ever blame, threaten or belittle them, But that you would always validate their points and talk it out until you were both happy with the agreement. It means that if you have worked out the budget, a schedule or routine that you both honor, respect and live that decision.

If you are Taken for Granted as a Spouse it means that you honor and respect their ideas, concerns and can truly listen to them and that they can count on you to validate their feelings without a volatile reaction. It means that you listen with love and work together with love to resolve ANY issues…since marriage is all about tackling life's problems with an equal partner.

If you are Taken for Granted as a Parent, your children should be able to Take for Granted the fact that you will make sure they have food, shelter and clothing at all times during all the cross roads of their lives. They should Take for Granted that you will pick them up or drop them off on time to their events. That you will attend their events with joy and they should be able to Take for Granted that you will always say positive words of encouragement, and not embarrass them in front of others, because you know how the world may try to tear them down…and you are the main ones to build them up so they can have confidence. And that you will listen to them and nurture them and help them to grow, learn and be someone who could also be Taken for Granted to do their part someday.

It is wonderful to be Taken for Granted by your associates, your spouse, your children and others because that means that you do your part well and no one has to worry about you finishing or doing that which needs to be done. So if you ever say, "Sorry that I take you for Granted.".....I will just say, "Thank you for the compliment."

Excuses

EXCUSES:  Oft times we use excuses not to do something we know we should. This causes a lack of self-esteem which equals stress and unhappiness.

EXAMPLE: Going to church is an individual thing. We are all here to work out our individual PERSONAL salvation. When we go to church for our own spiritual uplift we will be filled.  

Here are some excuses one might use not to go to church...

But if we used it in a different context of not going to the movies we realize how silly these excuses are since we all go to the movies for our own PERSONAL entertainment:

1.      I don’t go to the movies because the manager of the theatre has never talked to  me and I don’t think he likes me.

2.      I did go to the movies once but no one spoke to me and so I think that the people in that theatre are not very friendly.

3.      Not all the people who go to the movies live up to the high standards of the film.

4.      I went to the movies so much as a child that I don’t think I really ever need to go again.

5.      The movies are on the weekend and it’s the only time I have to be with my family and friends.

WHAT ARE YOUR EXCUSES FOR NOT DOING WHAT YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD?

Judging

Judging

There is good judging, which is the built in mechanism each of us has in order to choose right or wrong. With this type of judging we notice what is good and what is bad to clarify our decisions…

Then there is the bad judging or condemnation of another in our hearts. This is where we take it upon ourselves to think someone is a lost cause. This is an inaccurate or false way of looking at people because of the Atonement. Everyone has their agency to choose to change and become forgiven of something they have done that is wrong. Even throughout the Millenium there will be chances to repent (It might be much more difficult than in this life…but nonetheless, a chance) It is never too late for people until the Lord says it is…it is the Lord’s place to condemn or forgive. We cannot take HIS job away from him and try to do it ourselves…this is where we can have bad or false  judgments against someone else. And that type of judging is what this blog is about.

Another Perspective

As soon as someone says the word 'Judging" it is assumed they mean the rich looking down on the poor...or the righteous looking down on the un-righteous....However...it goes both ways...what about the poor person looking at the rich and judging them that they do not serve enough or give enough or assuming they are judging them??? That is also unrighteous judgement. Perhaps that rich person is dealing with cancer and all their money is going for the treatment of a loved one...and they are so overcome with their own problems that they do not see someone who is poor and do not help them. It is not fair for the poor person to judge that seemingly rich person...maybe they are not rich but someone gave them an expensive pair of shoes...hence the judgement of them being rich??? We should not condemn that which we do not know.

I believe that in the end of life...our brains are more powerful than a computer and everything we have seen, heard and done will be recorded in them and we will be eventually be judging our own selves. So whatever system of judgement you have set up for or against others...will be the exact system you will be measuring your own self with. I believe everything we do or systems we develop within ourselves, will be ours to use or deal with in the next realm.


I notice that we usually judge that which we are aware of in our own lives. Example. I used to bite my nails and judged and was aware of anyone else that bit their nails. I would say to myself "I'm not as bad as they are"  one day I quit biting my nails, I then looked at other people who bit their nails and would think "They will eventually quit...I did"  Eventually I never noticed nail biters.
Think about this: If you just bought a new white car...don't you notice all other white cars on the street.
If you just got engaged ...don't you notice all other people wearing engagement or wedding rings?
Etc... People notice what they are doing...thus we notice and are annoyed by what others do wrong that are similar to our own faults. (thus in the scriptures when it said you notice the mote (small problem) in another's eye when there in fact is a beam (larger problem)  in your own eye) 
Also said, "When you point a finger at someone else, notice there are 3 of your fingers pointing back at you."
Neal A. Maxwell said, "If I am not Happy with Me, other people suffer." 


Let's start by talking about JUDGING AND OUR POINT OF VIEW: :

·         If someone else takes a long time they are SLOW; if we take a long time…we are THROUGH.

·         If someone else doesn't get something done they are LAZY, if we didn't get it done…we were BUSY.

·         If someone else has success that was LUCK… if we have success… it was HARD WORK.

The Prophet Joseph Smith said: “While one portion of the human race isjudging and condemning the other without mercy, the Great Parent of the universe looks upon the whole of the human family with a fatherly care and paternal regard; … He holds the reins of judgment in His hands; He is a wise Lawgiver, and will judge all men, … ‘not according to what they have not, but according to what they have,’ those who have lived without law, will be judged without law, and those who have a law, will be judged by that law” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1976], 218

We all make judgments in choosing our friends, in choosing how we will spend our time and our money, and, of course, in choosing an eternal companion. Some of these intermediate judgments are surely among those the Savior referenced when He taught that “the weightier matters of the law” include judgment (Matt. 23:23).

Church leaders are specifically commanded to judge. Thus, the Lord said to Alma: “Whosoever transgresseth against me, him shall ye judge according to the sins which he has committed; and if he confess his sins before thee and me, and repenteth in the sincerity of his heart, him shall ye forgive, and I will forgive him also. … “… And whosoever will not repent of his sins the same shall not be numbered among my people” (Mosiah 26:29, 32).

Also remember that Church Leaders are Human and they may have faults and not know how to do their calling the best Christ Like way possible....they are all trying but also need to learn how to Lead and Serve. So do not judge them if in fact one does not handle your situation the way you think they should have. Thus, do not condemn a Church Leader for handling a situation poorly in your opinion.

REMEMBER all Leaders should judge OUT OF  LOVE  Heavenly Father and Jesus loves us so much that we can commit the worst sins possible and because he loves us we only need to be truly sorry, humble, make amends and come to him with our broken heart and an anxious desire to change and a commitment never to do it again and the Atonement pays for the sin, Wipes it away and we are Completely Clean and Brand New. Yes, maybe it might take excommunication for a year or so to make sure we are really serious. But sincerely for a length of time working repenting and working towards being one of the fold and All can be forgiven and Welcomed back into the Fold. THE SACRAMENT is the weekly upkeep for repenting of the smaller daily sins we all commit

(such as judging others- ha ha)

Someone has said that you cannot slice cheese so fine that it doesn’t have two sides:
There are always TWO or more sides to every situation.

Two experiences illustrate the importance of caution in judging. A Relief Society worker visiting a sister in her ward asked whether the woman’s married children ever visited her. Because of a short-term memory loss, this elderly sister innocently answered no. So informed, her visitor and others spoke criticisms of her children for neglecting their mother. In fact, one of her children visited her at least daily, and all of them helped her in many ways. They were innocent of neglect and should not have been judged on the basis of an inadequate knowledge of the facts.

Another such circumstance was described in an Ensign article by BYU professor Arthur R. Bassett. He stated that while teaching an institute class, “I was troubled when one person whispered to another all through the class. I kept glaring at them, hoping that they would take the hint, but they didn’t seem to notice. Several times during the hour, I was tempted to ask them to take their conversation outside if they felt it was so urgent—but fortunately something kept me from giving vent to my feelings.“After the class, one of them came to me and apologized that she hadn’t explained to me before class that her friend was deaf. The friend could read lips, but since I was discussing—as I often do—with my back to the class, writing at the chalkboard and talking over my shoulder, my student had been ‘translating’ for her friend, telling her what I was saying. To this day I am thankful that both of us were spared the embarrassment that might have occurred had I given vent to a judgment made without knowing the facts” (“Floods, Winds, and the Gates of Hell,” Ensign, June 1991, 8).

The scriptures give a specific caution against judging where we cannot know all the facts.

King Benjamin taught:“Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon himself his misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food, nor impart unto him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments are just—“But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent; and except he repenteth of that which he hath done he perisheth forever, and hath no interest in the kingdom of God. … “And if ye judge the man who putteth up his petition to you for your substance that he perish not, and condemn him, how much more just will be your condemnation for withholding your substance” (Mosiah 4:17-18, 22).

There is one qualification to this principle that we should not judge people without an adequate knowledge of the facts. Sometimes urgent circumstances require us to make preliminary judgments before we can get all of the facts we desire for our decision making.

Only God knows all the facts. 

Even in our country we should almost ignore some publicly reported conduct because“in this country you are supposed to be presumed innocent until you are proven guilty.” .

Some personal decisions must be made before we have access to all of the facts. Two hypotheticals illustrate this principle: (1) If a particular person has been arrested for child sexual abuse and is free on bail awaiting trial on his guilt or innocence, would you trust him to tend your children while you take a weekend trip? (2) If a person you have trusted with your property has been indicted for embezzlement, would you continue to leave him in charge of your life savings?

In such circumstances we do the best we can, relying ultimately on the teaching in modern scripture that we should put our “trust in that Spirit which leadeth to do good—yea, to do justly, to walk humbly, to judge righteously” (D&C 11:12). BY THEIR FRUITS YE SHALL KNOW THEM)

Another principle of a righteous intermediate judgment is that whenever possible we will refrain from judging people and only judge situations. Judge the action, not the Person.

Even the Savior, during His mortal ministry, refrained from making final judgments.

We see this in the account of the woman taken in adultery. After the crowd who intended to stone her had departed, Jesus asked her about her accusers. “Hath no man condemned thee?” (John 8:10). When she answered no, Jesus declared, “Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more” (John 8:11). In this context the word condemn apparently refers to the final judgment (see John 3:17).The Lord obviously did not justify the woman’s sin. He simply told her that He did not condemn her—that is, He would not pass final judgment on her at that time. This interpretation is confirmed by what He then said to the Pharisees: “Ye judge after the flesh; I judge no man” (John 8:15). The woman taken in adultery was granted time to repent, time that would have been denied by those who wanted to stone her.The Savior gave this same teaching on another occasion: “And if any man hear my words, and believe not, I judge him not: for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world” (John 12:47).

MY GRANDMOTHER MARY ELLA GAGON WROTE THIS POEM TO HER CHILDREN

Called

“If We Only Understood”

Could we but draw back the curtains

That surround each others lives

See the naked heart and spirit

Know what action underlies

Often we should find it better

Purer than we judged we should

We could love each other better

If we only understood.

Could we judge all deeds by motives

See the good and bad within

Often we should love the sinner

All the while we loathe the sin

Could we know the powers working

To o’er throw integrity

We should judge each other’s errors

With more patient charity

If we knew the cares and trials

And the efforts all in vain

And the bitter disappointments

Understood the loss and gain

Oh we judge each other harshly

Knowing not life's' hidden force

Knowing not the fount of action

And how turbulent the source

Seeing not amid the evil

And the golden grains of good

Oh we’d love each other better

If we only understood.

Goethe said, "Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being."  
Along with that we should all try to see the other persons point of view and potential and LOVE them...not JUDGE them. Perhaps that will help us to also be kinder judges of ourselves.

Take Time to Meditate and Process Life

TAKE TIME TO MEDITATE AND PROCESS LIFE

Brock actually taught me this. He has a photographic memory that takes in everything and ever since he was little he needed to walk around thinking and meditating to process everything in his brain.

We are bombarded with media, advertisements, news, music, TV, information, internet, people, places, things….

Our brain feels like we do when we have mounds and mounds of laundry and dishes not knowing where to start to organize and clean.

Our brain needs time to process the bits of information and organize it into useful/not useful, righteous/unrighteous, categories, etc…

We need to give it time to organize what we have already uploaded…this can be done while uploads are still coming in…but runs much slower…

If we take a few moments each day to stop, deeply relax, think/meditate…then our uploads can be processed much faster, easier, more accurately…then we will feel calmer and more grounded. We will be able to think clearly.

This is a better feeling than the way we feel explained as:

•             Running around like a chicken with its head cut off

•             Flying by the seat of my pants

•             Too stressed out to think

•             Space cadet

•             Air head

•             Speak before thinking

•             Frustrated all the time

•             Etc…

DEFINITION: The term meditation refers to a broad variety of practices (much like the term sports) that includes techniques designed to promote relaxation, build internal energy (chi, ki, prana, etc.) and develop compassion,[3] love, patience, generosity and forgiveness. A particularly ambitious form of meditation aims at effortlessly sustained single-pointed concentration[4] single-pointed analysis,[5] meant to enable its practitioner to enjoy an indestructible sense of well-being while engaging in any life activity.

Meditation often involves an internal effort to self-regulate the mind in some way. Meditation can help clear the mind and ease many health issues, such as high blood pressure[6] , depression, and anxiety to name a few (Yoga Journal). It may be done sitting, or in an active way, for instance Buddhist monks involve awareness in their day-to-day activities as a form of mind-training. Prayer beads or other ritual objects are commonly used during meditation in order to keep track of or remind the practitioner about some aspect of the training. Meditation may involve generating an emotional state for the purpose of analyzing that state — such as anger, hatred, etc. — or cultivating particular mental response to various phenomena, such as compassion. The term "meditation" can refer to the state itself, as well as to practices or techniques employed to cultivate the state.[7] In brief, there are dozens of specific styles of meditation practice;[8] the word meditation may carry different meanings in different contexts. Meditation has been practiced since antiquity as a component of numerous religious traditions and beliefs.


WE ALL NEED TO TAKE TIME TO MEDITATE AND PROCESS LIFE